"Would you not rather greet the summer sun than fix your gaze upon a disappearing snowflake, and shiver in rememberance of the winter's cold?"
A Course in Miracles
This is about holding on to the bad things.
This is about wrong and right and the illusions that create them.
One of the Dr. Phil-isms that I find helpful is the question he often asks: "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" What does he mean by that? In this context, what does it mean to be "right"?
I think what he means is, do you want to be right by proving others to be wrong? Right being superior or more valuable. Wrong being inferior or less valuable. This is not the same as right meaning correct or more appropriate.
For example, I am always seeking to be on my "right path". Is this path leading me where I want to go? Am I feeling good about what is happening here and do I feel fulfilled? Those are the questions I ask myself to decide if I am on the right track.
As you know, I am in school. I will openly admit to putting a high value on my GPA. Yes...I am a dork. The reason I do however is that I am trying to suck every ounce of value out of my education because, darn it, it is HARD. If I get an A on a test or an A on a paper, this is my clue that I am tuned in and getting the value out of the teaching and the learning. It is like a traffic signal. Green light - go, red light - back up and study some more.
But what about that other definition of right - the one we're willing to fight over and attack each other over? What about that one?
That definition begins with the perception of a slight or a trespass. Someone has to do something wrong. A victim has to be created and an offender. The victim then has to take on the role of accuser and the offender has to go on the defensive. Before you know it you have two opposing packs of snarling dogs...both tense and ready to defend or attack (is there a difference?) at a moment's notice. Without each side holding on tight to their own ideas of what happened and being vigilant in defending their "rightness", the war could not continue.
Peace is not the result of proving who was right and who was wrong. Peace is releasing both sides from the fight.
Peace is choosing the space between.
Thank you, Dave Matthews.
The space between the wicked lies (we tell ourselves) and the hope to keep safe from pain.
Maybe no one meant to hurt anyone else. Ever. Maybe they thought they were being hurt. Maybe they didn't mean that either.
If we hold onto the cold, bitter, cruel winter, we may never notice the warmth and light. We each hold the summer sun within us. We each have the power to move towards that which is positive and good in others and share what is positive and good in ourselves.
"The space between the bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding,
Waiting for you"
How do we let go of wrong or right?
Put down the pointing fingers.
"Take my hand 'cause we're walking out of here..."
Reach out. Gently, hands and heart outstretched.
"Love is all we need, dear."
WS
A Course in Miracles
This is about holding on to the bad things.
This is about wrong and right and the illusions that create them.
One of the Dr. Phil-isms that I find helpful is the question he often asks: "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" What does he mean by that? In this context, what does it mean to be "right"?
I think what he means is, do you want to be right by proving others to be wrong? Right being superior or more valuable. Wrong being inferior or less valuable. This is not the same as right meaning correct or more appropriate.
For example, I am always seeking to be on my "right path". Is this path leading me where I want to go? Am I feeling good about what is happening here and do I feel fulfilled? Those are the questions I ask myself to decide if I am on the right track.
As you know, I am in school. I will openly admit to putting a high value on my GPA. Yes...I am a dork. The reason I do however is that I am trying to suck every ounce of value out of my education because, darn it, it is HARD. If I get an A on a test or an A on a paper, this is my clue that I am tuned in and getting the value out of the teaching and the learning. It is like a traffic signal. Green light - go, red light - back up and study some more.
But what about that other definition of right - the one we're willing to fight over and attack each other over? What about that one?
That definition begins with the perception of a slight or a trespass. Someone has to do something wrong. A victim has to be created and an offender. The victim then has to take on the role of accuser and the offender has to go on the defensive. Before you know it you have two opposing packs of snarling dogs...both tense and ready to defend or attack (is there a difference?) at a moment's notice. Without each side holding on tight to their own ideas of what happened and being vigilant in defending their "rightness", the war could not continue.
Peace is not the result of proving who was right and who was wrong. Peace is releasing both sides from the fight.
Peace is choosing the space between.
Thank you, Dave Matthews.
The space between the wicked lies (we tell ourselves) and the hope to keep safe from pain.
Maybe no one meant to hurt anyone else. Ever. Maybe they thought they were being hurt. Maybe they didn't mean that either.
If we hold onto the cold, bitter, cruel winter, we may never notice the warmth and light. We each hold the summer sun within us. We each have the power to move towards that which is positive and good in others and share what is positive and good in ourselves.
"The space between the bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding,
Waiting for you"
How do we let go of wrong or right?
Put down the pointing fingers.
"Take my hand 'cause we're walking out of here..."
Reach out. Gently, hands and heart outstretched.
"Love is all we need, dear."
WS
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