I've noticed something lately. I'm out of balance. I seem to have drifted off course and into a rocky inlet. I feel as if I'm being batted about and the calm seas I was experiencing not long ago have darkened and become hostile. Too much stress. Too much drama. Too much negativity and unwanted obligations. And all the things that matter most to me have somehow been pushed to the back burner to make more space for all the stuff I don't really want.
How'd that happen?
I'm a firm believer that you can't create the life you want by living the life you don't want. If something feels wrong...in other words, out of alignment with your personal values and mission, then it's time to step away from that and towards something that feels more right, or closer to alignment. I think that's the real meaning of "getting centered". It's moving towards the person you see as the "real you". Anything that doesn't reflect that, that portrays you as someone you're not, well, that generates stress and disharmony. Stress and disharmony eat holes in your mind, body and eventually your spirit.
I'm starting to feel like Swiss cheese.
Sometimes it takes big brass kahonas to step away from certain facets of your life "on a whim". If you're looking to the outside world to support you in your decisions to make drastic changes (or even minor ones), look elsewhere. The outside world is invested in sameness. Only your inner world will encourage you to jump and flap like crazy. "Crazy" being the key word here.
I used to be the kind of person who would mentally beat a decision to death before I'd take the first step. What I've come to realize is that my gut was generally right from the very beginning but I didn't trust it. I wanted facts and workflow diagrams to back it up. I wasted a lot of time and energy doing that. My "gut to action" time ratio has improved greatly but I still haven't reached warp speed. Impulsivity isn't my m.o.
Time to make a change. A big one. Time to invite all the important people and activities and loving pursuits back into my life. Time to gently release (or beat off with a stick) all the things that are demanding more from me than I wish to give.
Time to get back to the business of predicting my future.
Godspeed...
WS