"We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn."
                                                                        Walden by Henry David Thoreau

It seems that years, like chapters in books, come forward with a theme - a thesis statement, if you will - and when reflecting upon the events with the clarity of hindsight one can see that the learning has been imparted with the precision of a well thought out syllabus.  One year the theme was "Be Bold."  This was a time of busting out of cardboard boxes that felt like fortresses.  There were all kinds of magnificent ideas and inspired leaping, "kowabunga style," into some marvelous new circumstances. 

The next was "Marinate."  Let me say without hesitation that marinating is not fun.  First you get pounded with a spikey meat mallet to mangle your structure and soften you up so you can be filled (involuntarily) with experiences that change your flavor and texture.  Once you've been marinated, you are not at all like you once were.

As I look back over those very different stages, it reminded me of planting.  Be bold meant "select your seeds".  It asked the question, "what do you hope to harvest one day?"  What was growing in our gardens at that time wasn't really sustaining us and it was time to consider a new crop.  There is a sense of rising hope and optimism at a time of planting.

Then the seeds are plunged into the darkness of the dirt.  First, they are disoriented.  "How did I get here?" they wonder.  After awhile they feel abandoned and forsaken.  Poor little seeds.  They have no idea what is happening.  All they know is darkness and loneliness in their holes.  They don't know what they did to deserve this isolation.  I imagine they might even be a little pissed off at whoever put them there.

But if they are ever to sprout, to fulfill their true and hidden purpose, they have to have faith that light exists beyond their cold, dark hole.  They have to keep reaching for it even thought they can't see it.  They have to sense the warming of the earth around them, and they have to keep stretching, stretching, stretching, until finally a part of them pops through the surface.

There it is.

Thank goodness.

Last night my friend and I were talking about our spots in the dirt.  Each of us for very different reasons are weary of the darkness and the cold.  But, we also know that there is warmth and light out there and we are reaching with all of our strength to get to it.  We know it's worth it.  This year, we declared is "undefined", in other words, without the restriction of definition.

Good day, sunshine.

WS

First, I must give credit to the maker of the beautiful dulcimer pictured above.  You can find this one and more at http://gibsondulcimers.com/index.htm  It's lovely, isn't it?

Yesterday I wrote about listening.  I was in a rush because at the time I should have been out the door to work but, darn it, when words start knocking in your head and want to get out, you have to drop everything and put them somewhere.  In my haste, I found I left out more than I put in.  This is why I wanted to revisit the topic today.

When I speak of listening, I'm referring to something far deeper than popping an audio book into the CD player of your car, taking in the recorded words and understanding the story while on a long, tedious road trip.  When I speak of listening, I'm talking about the giving of one's full attention with caring intent.  And the word "giving" is key here.

Can you remember back in elementary school having a teacher or two scold you to "pay attention!"?  Attention was being demanded of you like a tax, and just like paying your taxes, there were consequences and penalties if you didn't give it up without a fight.

As we grew older there were more and more and more demands for our attention, and at some point we all started defending and hoarding it like a treasure...which it is.  But it is easy to become miserly and start to behave as if everyone and everything that asks for our attention is somehow a thief in disguise.

But, you know what?  We need to share our treasure in order to truly enjoy it.  How fun is it at Christmas time to drop a $50 bill in the Salvation Army bell ringer's bucket?  Never done that?  Try it...it feels amazing.  And how great is it when you have a little extra funds left over to go buy yourself something frivolous that you've been wanting for months?  Yes, paying your monthly bills, meeting your regular obligations - you've got to do that to get by in the world.  But the more disposable income you have, the better you can feel about sharing it.

It is the same with your attention.  I bet that if I asked you to tell me about someone who you were very close with when you were a child, you would tell me about someone who would always stop what they were doing when you came in the room.  They would be happy to see you and interested in hearing whatever it was you had to say.  They would marvel at your drawings and ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up.  They would look at your face and somehow they would always know if you needed a hug.  How would they know?  Because they listened.  Not just to your words, but to your movements, and your posture, and your energy.  They made the effort to know who you were because they were present.  They gave you the gift of their attention, and with that gift you flourished.

That's what I'm talking about.

So now we're all grown up.  We shouldn't need that kind of attention anymore, right?

Note here - "should" is a VERY BAD WORD.  Whether it is "should" or "should not", doesn't matter, if you catch yourself using that word in any context, towards yourself or others, immediately apologize to whomever was the recipient of the s-bomb.  Yes, I am suggesting that you apologize to yourself...always a good practice.

Anyway...I digress...we absolutely DO need and deserve that kind of attention no matter what age.  Somehow we've let society convince us that we should (there's that word again...) be self sufficient and meet all of our own needs.  We don't want to be "needy" or do things to "get attention".  This is considered childish or selfish.

Wrong-o.

We feel most loved by those who are generous with their attention.  We know instinctively what a valuable commodity that is, and in turn, we feel valued.

Isn't that what we all need?

Well...work is calling to me again.  Time to step away from the keyboard and get on with the day.  We're all busy, but think about it as you go through the motions of your day.  What would it mean to have a person like that in your life?  What would it mean to be that person for another?

Ho, Ho, Ho!  Christmas all over again...

Love,

WS

The only gift any of us need to give or receive is listening - listening FULLY, with no distractions, no opinions, no judgments, no actions.  If all of us truly knew how to do that, and receive that, nothing else would matter all that much.

Just a thought...

WS