First, I must give credit to the maker of the beautiful dulcimer pictured above.  You can find this one and more at http://gibsondulcimers.com/index.htm  It's lovely, isn't it?

Yesterday I wrote about listening.  I was in a rush because at the time I should have been out the door to work but, darn it, when words start knocking in your head and want to get out, you have to drop everything and put them somewhere.  In my haste, I found I left out more than I put in.  This is why I wanted to revisit the topic today.

When I speak of listening, I'm referring to something far deeper than popping an audio book into the CD player of your car, taking in the recorded words and understanding the story while on a long, tedious road trip.  When I speak of listening, I'm talking about the giving of one's full attention with caring intent.  And the word "giving" is key here.

Can you remember back in elementary school having a teacher or two scold you to "pay attention!"?  Attention was being demanded of you like a tax, and just like paying your taxes, there were consequences and penalties if you didn't give it up without a fight.

As we grew older there were more and more and more demands for our attention, and at some point we all started defending and hoarding it like a treasure...which it is.  But it is easy to become miserly and start to behave as if everyone and everything that asks for our attention is somehow a thief in disguise.

But, you know what?  We need to share our treasure in order to truly enjoy it.  How fun is it at Christmas time to drop a $50 bill in the Salvation Army bell ringer's bucket?  Never done that?  Try it...it feels amazing.  And how great is it when you have a little extra funds left over to go buy yourself something frivolous that you've been wanting for months?  Yes, paying your monthly bills, meeting your regular obligations - you've got to do that to get by in the world.  But the more disposable income you have, the better you can feel about sharing it.

It is the same with your attention.  I bet that if I asked you to tell me about someone who you were very close with when you were a child, you would tell me about someone who would always stop what they were doing when you came in the room.  They would be happy to see you and interested in hearing whatever it was you had to say.  They would marvel at your drawings and ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up.  They would look at your face and somehow they would always know if you needed a hug.  How would they know?  Because they listened.  Not just to your words, but to your movements, and your posture, and your energy.  They made the effort to know who you were because they were present.  They gave you the gift of their attention, and with that gift you flourished.

That's what I'm talking about.

So now we're all grown up.  We shouldn't need that kind of attention anymore, right?

Note here - "should" is a VERY BAD WORD.  Whether it is "should" or "should not", doesn't matter, if you catch yourself using that word in any context, towards yourself or others, immediately apologize to whomever was the recipient of the s-bomb.  Yes, I am suggesting that you apologize to yourself...always a good practice.

Anyway...I digress...we absolutely DO need and deserve that kind of attention no matter what age.  Somehow we've let society convince us that we should (there's that word again...) be self sufficient and meet all of our own needs.  We don't want to be "needy" or do things to "get attention".  This is considered childish or selfish.

Wrong-o.

We feel most loved by those who are generous with their attention.  We know instinctively what a valuable commodity that is, and in turn, we feel valued.

Isn't that what we all need?

Well...work is calling to me again.  Time to step away from the keyboard and get on with the day.  We're all busy, but think about it as you go through the motions of your day.  What would it mean to have a person like that in your life?  What would it mean to be that person for another?

Ho, Ho, Ho!  Christmas all over again...

Love,

WS

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